Fear of being with self.

Prickly panic.

Concorde paced thoughts.

Fear convinces.

Something ‘bad’ may happen.

Plans with attachment may fall through.

Friends and lovers and family members will no longer like or love me.

The worst of the worst spiraling like a tornado.

Mind persuades.

Dooms day.

Apocalypse is coming.

There is

so much fear.

That if the worst of the worst

Crystalizes into existence,

I will be left alone.

Stranded.

Curled up in a ball.

In an ally.

Next to a trash can.

Smelling like mold.

Crying.

Sobbing.

Wailing.

Screaming.

at the Beloved.

Mental health crumbling.

No motivation to doing anything.

Underneath all the fears

Isn’t really the thing I am afraid will occur.

It is the fear of facing myself.

When the most wratched demons

gleam their 2 toothed smile.

It is the terror of the most turbulent

States of mental health.

Having to be felt.

The nightmare.

Is not about the circumstance.

The fear isn’t the world itself.

It is the ability to meet myself.

Underneath the every day micro anxieties

Is the fear.

Do I really have the capacity to be with myself intimately?

Yet.

It is within the fear.

I get to meet myself

For it is within meeting myself

I meet god.

When fear arises.

Without bypassing the rawness

in the nervous system.

I choose

To smile.

Place my hands on my heart.

And remember.

This is where I meet God.

I will never be abandoned.

I will never be separate.

This is where

I get to meet God.

Within myself.

& come into unification.

With my intrinsic wholeness.